sarcastic yet very honest and funny rantings about loving and asking to be loved

My previous blog reminds me of Beau Sia's slam poetry on love... This is quite long but it's really funny. His sarcastic yet very honest rantings dramatize his final plea.



video credit: KateJB2@youtube

"Love" by Beau Sia was first performed at Marymount Manhattan College, New York City, fall 1996. There are some lines in the text below that were not said in Beau Sia's performance at Def Poetry (in the video).

I think love is the most beautiful thing
in the world,
and I don't give a fuck,
because I have no original ideas.
I'm a pathetic man whose goal is to read poetry
in order to get women to fall in love with him,
and you'd think I was reprimanding myself and
revealing my horrible dark side by saying that,
but I was really saying
"women who hear this, fall in love with me, or else,"
because that's what it comes down to --
an ultimatum, life or death, and sure,
maybe I'm being extreme,
but you walk around and tell me
that things aren't extreme,
I've seen a man jack off to a gap window display,
so don't tell me that love isn't important.
and maybe you didn't get that series of lines,
that's OK,
most of them are subtext designed
to impress people who know too much about art,
all you need to listen to is the 12 percent
which contain words like "fuck," and "ass,"
and "ride my dongstick, you naughty schoolgirl."
because in a poem about love
we all need to know the relevant things,
because we're all looking for the complete definition of love,
if only we could open our encyclopedia brittanicas
and look up love and know, but love isn't that easy.
they say cupid loved my so called life
and when the show was cancelled
cupid cried and cried and cried and
decided that he was going to fuck up all of humanity, and
this is why China has a trouble with its birthrate and
Arkansas rhymes with date rape and
Iraq is Iraq, and
the fat lipo-sucked out of California
could be its own island.
but this isn't a poem about geography,
this is a poem about love,
the bane of my existence,
the reason why I hate Valentine's day and Halloween,
which is about ghosts and
I think you know where I'm going here.
I'm going to the land of girlfriends of Halloweens past, and
maybe I've only got three ghosts in this land,
but this doesn't mean that they don't bring their friends,
who are the ghosts of girls who have rejected me,
because girls rarely travel alone in this land
Lydia is from this land.
I used to kiss her
while listening to the Cure's "just like heaven,"
now I don't see her anymore,
so that song makes me sad,
why must we associate music with our love lives?
I'm not trying to be profound here,
I'm just saying that music really takes me back,
way back, and I can't explain the memory process involved in that,
because I am not a Psychology major, and
maybe my problem with picking up women
has to do with me always asking, "what's your major?"
But that only makes me as cheesy
as 90 percent of guys looking for women, and
86 percent of them have women,
So what's the deal here?
Maybe I shouldn't think of women
in terms of picking them up, and
maybe I should open up my sensitive side,
but really, the sensitive side sucks.
I've been there.
You can only imagine the kinds of sweaters they make you wear.
it's not fair, love is not fair, and
war is not fair, and
I don't care what anyone has to say about any of that,
I feel unloved, I'm sorry I need people to tell me I'm cool,
I'm just that way.
aren't you?
am I the only one?
I know that I can't be that misunderstood.
but you don't want to understand me!
you just want to hear the part where I talk about my small dick again,
because the Asian man will always be plagued by this rumor
until he is brave enough to fling it out and say,

"HA! WE ARE GIGANTIC!"

this is not the direction I wanted to take this poem.
honestly, I just want to be in the arms of my true love,
in a house,
in a room,
in a wonderful, perfect world with our two children,
a boy and a girl,
Helga and Lamar,
but maybe I shouldn't have said this,
Woody Allen taught us that marriage is a death trap.
I'm almost as old as his girlfriend.
she could be the long lost sister I've been looking for,
maybe my mother gave her away when we lived in China,
wait, I never lived in China.
I think I've begun lying in this poem.
I was hoping to talk about love for 3.4 minutes and
then come to a conclusion,
somehow defining love within the poem,
but I don't have any answers and
I'm looking for help from anyone,
because love has got me fucked up and dying,
because I feel retarded without anyone to hold me, and
maybe that's sentimental,
but what's wrong with sentimental?
I just need love --

to self: fuck you, I'm OK!

you see, I can't even decide what I need
much less understand what I'm saying.
you see,
all I'm saying is
someone...
love me.

FREE HUGS on Friday the 13th up to Heart’s Day!!!

I am an advocate of Free Hugs Campaign (started by Juan Mann in 2004)...

The Wikipedia says that this year (2009) Free Hug Day will take place internationally at 00:01 on Friday February 13 until 00:00 (midnight) on Saturday February 14, at each country's respective times.

If you have not known of this campaign yet, please click HERE.

Below is the music video (which helped popularize the campaign) by the Australian band Sick Puppies.

Video credits to PeaceOnEarth123@YouTube

Rives --- a cool poet and story teller

I saw videos of Rives at TED. Cool guy! Check his story on deaf jam (Sign Language).



Credits to kateJB2@youtube.com

“I would pray to the Lord above,

every night

at the top of my fucking lungs

just to thank Him

for giving me

Voice…” --- Rives

Naalala ko si Bruno kay Jo Koy

A friend told me about this very funny Filipino American comedian Jo Koy, geez, I love his antics. He is cool and funny. And when I saw this clip below at youtube (especially the last part of the video) ... I could imagine my best friend Bruno standing just right in front of me delivering his most natural and most hilarious “clowning around”.

Damn, I miss that friend. He’s not the kind of man who shook me and could shake me to the core, but Bruno was (is and will be) the man who was (is and will be) there for me when I was (am and will be) shaken to the core.

Check this out...

Check Jo Koy's blogs at http://funnypino.blogspot.com

World's best and funniest passenger complaint letter

Travelling is really fun! It’s edifying to see new places, meet new friends and experience new culture... a different feeling of life...

Although it’s not really that 100% fun, mishaps could happen anytime... like the last time I went back to the Philippines. There was a bubble gum on my seat! A bubble gum? On a seat of an international plane? Please!!! But yeah, it ruined my favourite cargo pants.

What I have just read few minutes ago at Telegraph.co.uk reminded me of some misfortunes I have also experienced related to food served during flights.

Please check it out, it’s really a fun read. It is Telegraph’s reproduction of the world's best passenger complaint letter sent to Sir Richard Branson (the owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways). This letter complaint is currently being emailed globally and is considered by many to be the world's funniest passenger complaint letter.

CLICK HERE to follow the letter

The Push

I really think I am lazy.

Sometimes, I think the reason why I’m stuck here, not done with my MPhil upgrade yet because I’m lazy. Although my counsellor said that the pain I have experienced after the deaths in the family before coming here in UK caused the mental block and loss of motivation, but no, I can’t make those as excuses why I’m stuck here. It’s just my laziness.

Hmmm, actually, I just need a push!

Honestly, it took me awhile to realize that instead of being blocked by the grief over her lose; I made my Mama my “Push” to keep on going. For the past two weeks, I have not been very productive in my school work. And last night, my “Push” appeared in my dream. Amidst a very busy train station, I saw her...her figure was so vivid...just like in the movies, her face was focused with a circling shot in slow motion, even the pink mole at the tip of her nose, I saw everything clearly... I even smelled her scent.

When I was about to get near her, everything froze then I woke up. Although a little disappointed that I was pulled back to reality, but I was and am very happy I have seen her again... she’s still very much alive in my heart.

And I got her message...

So now my fingers are flying over the keyboards of my laptop... I need to keep going...

...and...

I wish to thank Nox Joel too... if not of his “push” to start blogging, I might not really take this seriously. Nox, salamat sa duot, hahaha! Pang therapy hihihi. Aside sa kape!